I got this from another Adoption Board I belong to and know the woman that
wrote it and TOTALLY believe her. She has been posting about this PBM for
MONTHS. And been asking for advice.
~*~
My husband and I have had a bad experience with a potential birth mother
in
Southern Illinois named Jessica Sims. The birth father is Kevin Brown.
They are having a girl, due February 5, 2006. This is to warn other
people
pursuing private adoption who might be contacted by them. Note that
Illinois is an agency state, so in addition to our private attorney, we
had
Lutheran Family & Child Services working with us, and they are very aware
of
the current situation.
Kevin contacted us in July. They have been together 5 years - this would
be
their fourth child. The oldest two are living with relatives (Malachi and
Damon), and the youngest, little Kevin, is living with them. They
realized
they could not manage another child and felt adoption was the best option.
Things started out well. We seemed to establish a decent relation****p via
phone. All paperwork with our atty was completed - we set them up in
permanent housing, paid off outstanding debts so the utilities could be
turned on, put them on a weekly food and gas budget, etc.
Shortly after this was in place, the crises began: the battery in the car
died, they needed emergency funds; Jessica was sick with flu and they had
already used up their weekly budget; they lost the Wal-mart card and
needed
a new one; Jessica was arrested on outstanding warrants and had to be
bonded
out; the Wal-mart card was stolen and they needed another one; they had a
fight and Kevin left Jessica in the Kroger parking lot with an empty gas
tank and the car was going to be impounded if she didn't move it. Of
course
every crisis happened on a weekend, when the attorney's office was closed.
Meanwhile, each crisis prevented Jessica from filling out her Medicaid
card
paperwork. Although she had sent us proof of pregnancy, it took another
month before she finally was able to get to a doctor for testing and
ultrasounds. (We never did get a copy of the ultrasounds.)
In addition to all the budgeted monthly expenses, we hired taxis to take
Jessica back and forth to her court dates - she had a suspended license,
and
Kevin (who also had a suspended license) needed the car to go to work as a
roofer.
Jessica and Kevin did not want to work with Lutheran Family - they were
suspicious and felt that the social worker did not treat them well.
Lutheran Family warned us early on that things didn't seem kosher, but we
decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and proceed.
The last crisis was a supposed car accident involving the oldest child,
Malachi, a three hour drive away and there was no gas money. We refused
to
wire funds. The next day, their car was in a parking lot with an empty
gas
tank and in danger of being impounded. It was impounded. We arranged for
the social worker to drive them to get the car released, to drive Jessica
to
finish her Medicaid paperwork and to drive Jessica to another court date -
as I was arranging this with Lutheran, I got a message from Kevin telling
me
not to bother, they would deal with it. So I canceled all arrangements.
That night, I got a call from Jessica asking to know the plans for the
next
day. I told her Kevin had canceled everything and that there were no
plans.
That was the last time I heard from Jessica or Kevin.
Our attorney tells us that Kevin and Jessica are now calling other
adoption
attorneys. Be warned - they are not honest. They say they are staying in
a
motel because we stopped paying their utilities and rent and cut off their
weekly funds - in fact, their bills are paid through the end of October.
Please contact me privately for additional information
Hamiltonquiche@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
since I receive this list in digest form. I will
be posting on a few other lists - feel free to forward this email to any
lists you think should be included.
~*~
I am re-posting this in the hopes that it might save one of you the grief
she went through.
Mary McK
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