On Nov 13, 5:28=A0am, Mark Probert <mark.prob...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> On Nov 12, 6:25=A0pm, "Stuart" <hydermanNOS...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>
> > What a revelation. Experts have known this for years.
>
> You don't need no steeken experts to know this. Just look at a bully
> and they are obviously enjoying it.
>
>
>
>
>
> > "rpautrey2" <rpautr...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>
>
>news:20581db3-8434-4fe0-a311-446ed0b12f65@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> > > Brain Scans Show Bullies Enjoy Others' Pain
> > > November 7, 2008
>
> > > FRIDAY, Nov. 7 (HealthDay News) -- Bullies may actually enjoy the
pai=
n
> > > they cause others, a new study using brain scans suggests.
>
> > > The part of the brain associated with reward lights up when an
> > > aggressive teen watches a video of someone hurting another person,
bu=
t
> > > not when a non-aggressive youth watches the same clip, according to
> > > the University of Chicago study, published in the currentBiological
> > > Psychology.
>
> > > "Aggressive adolescents showed a specific and very strong activation
> > > of the amygdala and ventral striatum (an area that responds to
feelin=
g
> > > rewarded) when watching pain inflicted on others, which suggested
tha=
t
> > > they enjoyed watching pain," researcher Jean Decety, a professor in
> > > psychology and psychiatry at the University of Chicago, said in a
> > > university news release. "Unlike the control group, the youth with
> > > conduct disorder did not activate the area of the brain involved in
> > > self-regulation (the medial prefrontal cortex and the
tem****oparietal
> > > junction)."
>
> > > The study compared eight 16- to 18-year-old boys with an aggressive
> > > conduct disorder to a group that didn't show unusual signs of
> > > aggression. All participants underwent functional magnetic resonance
> > > imaging (fMRI) while watching videos in which people endured pain
> > > accidentally, such as when a heavy bowl was dropped on their hands,
> > > and intentionally, such as when a person stepped on another's foot.
>
> > > More information
>
> > > The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has more about
> > > stopping bullying.
>
> > > SOURCE: University of Chicago, news release, Nov. 7, 2008
>
> >
>http://www.wa****ngtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/07/AR200.=
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>
> > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -
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> - Show quoted text -
Cyberbullying on the Internet
http://www.bullyonline.org/related/cyber.htm
Cyber bullies, cyber bullying, flame mail, hate mail
The Internet provides the perfect forum for cyberbullies, individuals
whose aim is to gain gratification from the distress caused by
provoking and tormenting others. The anonymity, ease of provocation,
and almost infinite source of targets means the Internet is full of
predators from pedophiles targeting children to serial bullies
targeting ... anybody.
Cyberbullies get a perverse sense of satisfaction (called
gratification) from sending people flame mail and hate mail. Flame
mail is an email whose contents are designed to inflame and enrage.
Hate mail is hatred (including prejudice, racism, ***ism etc) in an
email.
Serial bullies, whose behaviour profile you'll find in full at Bully
OnLine, harbour a lot of internal aggression which they direct at
others. This may include projection, false criticism and patronising
sarcasm whilst contributing nothing of any value. It may also include
a common tactic of "a number of people have emailed me backchannel to
agree with me". This is standard bully-speak which I've experienced on
several forums. In every case it's a fabrication or a distortion -
usually the former. It's also a variant of the serial bully head
teacher who says "a number of parents have complained to me about
you...". When challenged, the identity of the alleged complainants
can't be disclosed because it's "confidential". The purpose of this
tactic is to wind people up. Don't be fooled into believing it has any
validity - it doesn't.
People who bully are adept at creating conflict between those who
would otherwise pool negative information about them. The method of
creating conflict is provocation which bullies delight in because they
know they can always coerce at least one person to respond in a manner
which can then be distorted and used to further flame and inflame
people. And so it goes on. The bully then sits back and gains
gratification from seeing others engage in destructive behaviour
towards each other.
Many serial bullies are also serial attention-seekers. More than
anything else they want attention. It doesn't matter what type of
attention they get, positive or negative, as long as they can provoke
someone into paying them attention. It's like a 2-year-old child
throwing a tantrum to get attention from a parent. The best way to
treat bullies is to refuse to respond and to refuse to engage them -
which they really hate. In other words, do not reply to their
postings, and on forums carry on posting without reference to their
postings as if they didn't exist. In other words, treat nobodies as
nobodies.
The anger of a serial bully is especially apparent when they come
across someone who can see through them to espy the weak, inadequate,
immature, dysfunctional aggressive individual behind the mask. For
instance, when serial bullies see themselves described at workbully/
serial.htm they usually send me an abusive email.
If you receive abusive emails or flame mails or hate mail, you can
forward it to abuse@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
where "isp" is the service provider the abuser
is using, eg "aol.com" or "yahoo.com". Although Internet service
providers may not act on every complaint, the more complaints they
receive about a particular individual (with examples of abusive email)
the more likely they are to close down the person's account.
The objectives of bullies are Power, Control, Domination, Subjugation.
They get a kick out of seeing you react. It doesn't matter how you
react, the fact they've successful provoked a reaction is, to the
bully, a sign that their attempt at control have been successful.
After that, it's a question of wearing you down. The more your try to
explain, negotiate, conciliate, etc the more gratification they obtain
from your increasingly desperate attempts to communicate with them.
Understand that it is not possible to communicate in a mature adult
manner with a disordered individual who's emotionally retarded.
The Number One rule for dealing with this type of behaviour is: don't
respond, don't interact and don't engage. This is not as easy to do as
it sounds. It's a natural response to want to defend yourself, and to
put the person right. However, never argue with a serial bully; it's
not a mature adult discussion, but like dealing with a child or
immature teenager; whilst the serial bully may be an adult on the
outside, on the inside they are like a child who's never grown up -
and probably never will. Serial bullies and harassers often have
disordered thinking patterns and do not share the same thoughts or
values as you.
The second rule is to keep all abusive emails. Create a new folder,
perhaps called "Abuse", and move hate mail and flame mail into this
folder. You don't have to read it. When the time comes to take action,
this folder of hate mail and flame mail is your evidence. Bullies,
especially cyberbullies, are obsessive people and if their account is
closed down you may start receiving mail from another address. This
can later be compared to the abusive emails you've already received to
identify the perpetrator. You'll find the same words, phrases and
strategies occurring.
The third rule is to understand bullying. Read through Bully OnLine
carefully, understand the profile of the serial bully. Recognise that
you are not dealing with a person who has the same mindset as
yourself. Bullying, and especially cyberbullying, has links with
stalking - see related/stalking.htm for links to stalking sites.
Rule four is get help. If you're a young person, this is essential.
Even mature experienced adults often cannot handle bullying and
harassment by themselves. Sometimes you are dealing with a severely
disordered and dangerous individual.
Rule five is become alert to provocation. It could be called "The
Baiting Game". A provocative comment is made and those who respond
spontaneously in irritation (eg non-assertively) are then encouraged
to engage in conflict with those who respond without irritation (eg
assertively). The provoker watches, waits and stirs the pot with the
occasional additional provocation. What interests me is the sense of
gratification that a provoker gains from watching others indulge in
destructive interaction initiated by him- or herself. In this context,
gratification is a perverse form of satisfaction akin to, but distinct
from, pleasure.
The sixth rule is become an observer. Although you may be the target
of the cyberbully's anger, you can train yourself to act as an
observer. This takes you out of the firing line and enables you to
study the perpetrator and collect evidence. When people use bullying
behaviours they project their own weaknesses, failings and
shortcomings on to others. In other words, they are telling you about
themselves by fabricating an accusation based on something they
themselves have done wrong. Whenever you receive a flame mail or hate
mail, train yourself to instinctively ask the question, "What is this
person revealing about themselves this time?"
The seventh rule is decide if you want to take action, and if so,
prepare carefully and strike hard. Sometimes refusing to respond and
engage will result in the cyberbully losing interest and going off to
find someone easier to torment. Sometimes though, especially if there
has been interaction in the past, the cyberbully is so obsessed that s/
he cannot and will not let go. You will have to make that person let
go, but only through swift, hard, legal action, and only when the time
is right. Don't deal with the abuser yourself (this encourages bullies
and stalkers), use a third party such as a solicitor.
Finally a reminder - never try to mediate, negotiate, conciliate or
otherwise deal with a bully or stalker yourself. Always remember Rule
#1: don't respond, don't interact and don't engage.
My page on stalking which includes a behaviour profile of the Internet
stalker may prove interesting.
Bully OnLine is a gold mine of insight and information on bullying
which identifies the different types of harassment and bullying, and
exposes the principal perpetrator, the serial bully. Everyone, whether
they're receiving flame mails or hate mail or not, knows at least one
person in their life with the profile of the serial bully. Click here
to see ...who does this describe in your life?
Have a look through this web site to recognise the bullies and
bullying in your life ... start with Am I being bullied? then move on
to What is bullying? To find out what you can do about bullying, click
Action to tackle bullying. Have a look at the profile of the serial
bully which is common to sociopathic managers, harassers, stalkers,
rapists, violent partners, abusers, paedophiles, even serial killers
of the organised kind.
If bullying and harassment have caused injury to health, commonly
diagnosed as "stress", see the page on injury to health and the one on
the psychiatric injury of trauma, a collection of symptoms congruent
with the diagnostic criteria for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or
PTSD.
Links
May 2005: One in five young people bullied by mobile phone or via the
internet [More]
March 2005: Study reveals 40 percent of students claim to have been
bullied online [More]
Staying safe in cyberspace, a page from Bullying Online at
www.bullying.co.=
uk
Cyberbullying - practical advice for parents and schools
Conflict in Cyberspace: how to resolve conflict online by Kali Munro
The Psychology of Cyberspace by John Suler
http://www.haltabuse.org/
http://www.wiredpatrol.org/
Links to cyberbullying and Internet violence sites
Links to stalking sites
26 August 2004: article in New York Times, Internet Gives Teenage
Bullies Weapons to Wound From Afar
Where now at Related Issues?
Violence, rage, abuse, discrimination and issues related to bullying
Related Issues Home Page
Bullying by neighbours | Bullying by landlords
Bullying by the church | Bullying and cults | Bullying and prisons
Bullying and whistleblowing | Bullying and stammering
Bullying and age discrimination | Bullying and long hours
Bullying and minorities | Bullying of gays and lesbians
Trans***uals and bullying | Bullying and disfigurement
Bullying and adoption | Bullying and eating disorders
Bullying and racism | Bullying because you're seen as overweight or
fat
The cost of drugs and alcohol at work | Cor****ate bullying and fad-
speak
Working from home | Management consultants
Bullying and business ethics | Toxic management | Bullying and fat
cats
Bullying and call centres | Bullying and snooping
Cyberbullying, emails and the Internet
Abusive telephone calls | Bullying and mobile phones
Health and safety | The welfare officer
Domestic violence | A serial bully in the family | Female violence
Bullying and anger | Road rage, office rage | Verbal violence
Violence | Gun violence | Spree killings
Bullying and abuse | ***ual abuse | Drug rape | Stalking
Bullying in the movies | Trauma and the paranormal
Home Pages
The Field Foundation | Bully OnLine
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Bullying news | Bullying case histories
Bullying resources | Press and media centre
Stress, PTSD and psychiatric injury
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Success Unlimited
Books on bullying and related issues
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